Life is such a mystery. One moment one feels herself resting at the seventh sky above the light blue colored clouds and then another moment one feels herself under a grave which is probably on the eleventh floor underground. It is so hard to explain such moments to yourself. They leave you with a turmoil as what place do you have in this world, in someone's (special) life, at your workplace etc. Well the irony is that such moments pass with the next blow of wind so smoothly that one even wonders whether they ever came or was it an illusion ( a creation of one's silly mind).
Well (if anyone reading this) you must be wondering what the hell I writing and have in mind while drafting this blog. May be it is actually my silly mind only which feels like this. It has happened so many times that because of communication gap or because of my stupid imagination power (otherwise which is very interesting.... :) ) leads me to think that I am not good enough.

Aaina Kyan Bole?

Aksar jab aaina dekhti hoon... toh yeh khayaal aata hai,
ki kya dikhta hai- bachpan, jawani ya budapa?
jo bhi dikhe... lekin kya sheesha har baar sach bolta hai?
Sab kehte hai badi ho chuki hoon main... budape ki aur kadam bada rahi hoon main

Phir jab bhi aaina dekhti hoon... toh bachpan hi kyon nazar aata hai?
Ab bhi aankhon mein woh shararat hai... jo rasoi se achar churate waqt hoti thi
Ab bhi woh sawaal sunai padte hai... Jo koi bhi nai baat jaankar uthte the
Ab bhi woh josh mahsoos hota hai... Jo koi bhi naya kaam karte waqt hota tha
Ab bhi woh hi sapne nazar mein hai... jo gudiya se khelte waqt hote the

Ab bhi ji chahta hai ki koi mujhe bigaade
Ab bhi ji chahta hai ki koi mujhe sanwaare
Ab bhi ji chahta hai ki koi mere saath waqt bitaaye
Ab bhi ji chahta hai ki koi mujhe sataaye
Ab bhi ji chahta hai ki koi mujhe manaaye
Ab bhi ji chahta hai ki koi mujhe hansaaye

Phir kyon sab kehte hain mujhe bada... kyon kisi ko woh bachpan aata nahin nazar?
bachpan agar pehchaan bhi le koi... toh kyon use galat bataaya jaata hai?
Kyan umra ke sachmuch itne kade pehre hain? Kya duniya ke sachmuch itne chehre hain?
Aksar jab aaina dekhti hoon... toh yeh khaayal aata hai....

Last time I was going in an auto and I saw a woman beggar carrying her baby in her arms. She was also carrying a feeding bottle and was asking for money to feed her child. For a moment I really thought of giving her the money but then I decided I won't (although it was still a moral dilemma for me as what to do) as it may promote them and I was not even sure whether she was genuine or not.

Then the auto moved and on another red light I saw four more such women, carrying their babies in their arms and a feeding bottle and asking for money. That really disgusted me with the feeling that how could these women use their babies for such a job. But at the same time I felt a pity for them especially those who are actually genuine and are left with no other option. I know that giving them money might promote their habit of begging but it is still very difficult to just see them in such bad condition and walk away. At those moments I feel a major moral dilemma and at the same time I feel as if humanity is gradually fading from the world. There are so many moments when it becomes so hard to decide what is the best thing to do but what i find the worst thing about such moments is the fact that they leave you feeling killing your humane feeling gradually. I wish I knew how to help both sides of people, those beggars and people like me.

I know many of the people may not feel the same way but I just wrote what I feel everytime I have to wait for the red light to turn green.

Hello!
This is the first blog I am writing ever. Well I am not a good writer but what I can say is that I am a writer. I want to dedicate each post of the blog to whom I keep talking most and that is most probably myself or may be God (I dont leave her with any other choice). Well it is definitely dedicated to those as well who will read it (if I find someone to read it). Suddenly I realised that I start a lot of sentences with 'well'. I dont think that I will be writing only in English. I may write in Hinglish as well that is writing Hindi in english font.